RM Online - Staying alive on the road

I glanced quickly over my left shoulder. There was the opening I needed to blend in smoothly with the freeway traffic. Then suddenly the driver of the car in front of me slammed on her brakes. She had run out of nerve at the end of the freeway on-ramp and was afraid to merge into the rapidly flowing traffic.

I used all of my computer-regulated, automatic-braking system to scrub off speed and avoid a collision. Just as I relaxed, knowing that I'd flirted with disaster, I glanced in my rear-view mirror. There, approaching at a fast speed, was the biggest sports utility vehicle I'd ever seen.

The driver was checking the freeway traffic flow over his left shoulder. He was talking on the phone at the same time. So there I was between the coward and the fool. I slipped down in the seat and said, "Lord, I'm coming home."

I guess the fact that you're reading about this tells you I survived. Somehow the driver of the SUV jumped the median and avoided hitting us. When I last saw him, he had both hands on the wheel and the phone was no where to be seen. I vowed to write this column right then. I hope it will save a few lives and reduce injuries.

Some bad driving habits

Watch out for these drivers. (And, don't be one of them.)

· Left-Lane Larry - Larry loves the left-hand lane of four-lane highways. He drives there all the time. He often runs 45 mph in the 55-mph speed zones, or 60 in the 70 zones. The fact that he impedes smooth traffic flow and frustrates other drivers hasn't occurred to him. Larry needs to learn to drive in the right-hand lane and use the left-hand lane to pass slower traffic.

· Lane-Jumping Judy - Judy often runs a little late. To make up time, she darts back and forth between lanes trying to get ahead. She accelerates quickly and dives into an opening in the other lane. Then she hits the brakes because she is going faster than other traffic. Soon she'll dart back to the other lane. She doesn't signal. Judy needs to be patient. The price of impatience is often an accident.

· Rubber-Necking Randy - Randy is a curious thing. Is that a new house over there? Is that a '63 Nash? There's a new sign. Randy sees it all. All except the road, that is. Randy needs to pay attention to traffic and road conditions. Otherwise, he may get to check out the latest equipment in the emergency room.

· Telephone-Talking Trisha - Trisha just got a new car phone. It included 100 free minutes of air-time. She was so excited she couldn't wait to call her friends. In the first three minutes she crossed the center line twice and nearly side-swiped the guard rail. At least she can call 911 if she's still conscious after the crash. Cellular phones are wonderful tools to use when the car is stopped.

· Tail-Gating Tommy - You'll often see Tommy exactly 11 feet behind Left-Lane Larry. Tommy doesn't realize that at 60 mph his car travels 88 feet per second. Tommy needs to learn the two-second rule. Always leave at least two seconds between you and the vehicle ahead.

· Ramp-Stopping Ruby - Ruby wants to use the freeway, but hasn't learned to enter the traffic flow at the speed of the traffic. She panics at the end of the ramp and stops. Then she has to wait for a huge space to get in. It almost never happens. Finally, in desperation, Ruby dives in and lights up brake lights for a quarter of a mile up the freeway.

· Over-His-Head Harry - Harry loves speed. You'll find Harry driving at speeds too fast for road conditions. A little snow, ice, fog or rain never slows Harry down. The speed gives him a rush. Never mind that he's driving way over his skill level. You'll often see Harry sitting in the median wondering what happened. Harry needs to learn to adjust his speed to driving conditions.

· Makeup-Mopping Mary - Mary loves her face. Mary loves to look at her face. Mary likes to have her makeup fresh and perfect. Why waste all that time driving when you can freshen your makeup?

· Eatin' Eddie - Eddie loves to eat. He has found a way to hold the wheel and a bag of french fries. He can also hold the wheel with his knee if he needs both hands for the triple decker with extra mayo. The soda and shake he holds between his legs. Not the hot coffee though. Eddie's no dummy.

· Baby-Sitting Betty - Betty knows the importance of family. She takes good care of her children. They are properly buckled in their car seats. She turns around frequently to check on them. If Betty doesn't pay more attention to the road, she and the children may get to take a family ride in the friendly ambulance.

· Run-The-Light Ricky - Ricky just has to make the stoplight without stopping. Even if he's half a block away, he'll put the pedal-to-the-metal to get through. He's been known to enter an intersection a full second after the light turns red.

· Light-Jumping Jenny - Jenny just has to be first through the light. She cleverly watches for the caution light on the cross street. When it comes on, she revs up her engine to get a quick jump. She and Ricky often meet by accident.

· Wine-Sipping Winnie and Hard-Drinking Danny - Here's a real pair to watch out for. These two cause nearly half of the fatal accidents on U.S. highways. They are a direct menace. If you see either of these two drivers, call the highway patrol. No one has a right to drive alcohol impaired. Let's take the drunks off the road.